PAYDIRT, WITH EMPHASIS ON "DIRT"

That's right, baby.

You're not reading some mouthy hack on the internet any more, you're reading the finely-crafted work of a Genuine Certifiable Freelance Writer.

With enough skill, luck and hard work, there should be enough rolling in by this time next year to afford the cost of a pizza. Every month. And that's a large pizza, haters.